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I started this project on September 9, 2011, and over a year later I compiled a list of 50 rules for my future son. These are “rules” in a very loose sense, and are mostly tongue and cheek, but others are more serious. Some are well-written, some are badly-written; however, they’re all written with the intention of my future son (or daughter, frankly) having a compilation of things I wanted to tell him before he existed.
This project was largely inspired by blog-turned-book “Rules for my Unborn Son,” which I think is a hilarious read in itself. However, the work left some stuff to be desired, and I wanted to make my own version of it, for my own son. While 50 articles is hardly enough for a book, and these letters are hardly of the highest quality, I had fun doing this nonetheless.
[Edit: I've gotten a lot of grief through email as a result of this series about how I'm too restrictive, I should let my child be who they are, and whatnot. This is not a list prohibitions and permissions, and if you only read the headlines I can see why one would believe it's so. Rather, this list contains certain principles and ideas that are more important than the brief title atop them. It's these principles and ideas that are important to me, not the "rules" themselves. One can learn the principle, "Be nice to foodservers," without actually following the rule about working in foodservice for a year. One can learn the principle, "The quickest method is not always the best method," without following the rule about shaving properly. The point of these rules is to encompass these principles in real-world applications, not to prematurely set boundaries and restrictions on a child who doesn't yet exist.]
Without further ado, here is a full list of my first 50 rules for my future son:
Rule 1: Go Outside
Rule 2: Study Philosophy
Rule 3: Ride a Bike
Rule 4: Go Under Pressure
Rule 5: Have a Great Handshake
Rule 6: Value Room Aesthetic
Rule 7: Work at a Restaurant for a Summer
Rule 8: Put Some Skin in the Game
Rule 9: Stargaze
Rule 10: Learn About Modern Art, but Don’t Take it Too Seriously
Rule 11: Play Cards
Rule 12: Dig a Hole
Rule 13: Write in a Journal
Rule 14: Learn How to Fail
Rule 15: Travel When you Can
Rule 16: Strive to be a Renaissance Man
Rule 17: Hone your Oratory Skills
Rule 18: Always be Prepared
Rule 19: Wear a Watch
Rule 20: Exercise
Rule 21: Ask Why, Not Only How
Rule 22: Dream, but Don’t Sleep
Rule 23: Play Chess
Rule 24: Go Camping
Rule 25: Create a Routine
Rule 26: Adapt
Rule 27: Grow Food
Rule 28: Have Patience
Rule 29: Maintain Skepticism
Rule 30: Keep a Calendar
Rule 31: Drink Lots of Water
Rule 32: Play Baseball
Rule 33: Hustle
Rule 34: Get Enough Sleep
Rule 35: Use Correct Grammar
Rule 36: Wash Your Hands
Rule 37: Open Doors
Rule 38: Live Your Own Life
Rule 39: Save Coins
Rule 40: Paint
Rule 41: Become Scientifically Literate
Rule 42: Choose Leather
Rule 43: Don’t Waste Food
Rule 44: Vote
Rule 45: Groom
Rule 46: Live Half a Decade Ahead
Rule 47: Find Music
Rule 48: Wear Wingtips
Rule 49: Take Risks
Rule 50: Shave Correctly
Thank you for your support over these 50 rules, and I can’t wait to make a second index after my next 50. Enjoy.
via electrogent.com
via fastcodesign.com
via newyorker.com
It’s no surprise that the employee benefits of Google are among the best in the land—free haircuts, gourmet food, on-site doctors and high-tech “cleansing” toilets are among the most talked-about—but in a rare interview with Chief People Officer Laszlo Bock I discovered that the latest perk for Googlers extends into the afterlife.
“This might sound ridiculous,” Bock told me recently in a conversation on the ever-evolving benefits at Google, “But we’ve announced death benefits at Google.” We were scheduled for a talk on Google’s widening age-gap (the oldest Googler is currently 83); I wanted to know how child- and healthcare benefits have evolved as the company has scaled.
Instead, Bock, who joined the company in 2006 after a stint with General Electric, blew me away by disclosing a never-before-made-public-perk: Should a U.S. Googler pass away while under the employ of the 14-year old search giant, their surviving spouse or domestic partner will receive a check for 50% of their salary every year for the next decade. Even more surprising, a Google spokesperson confirms that there’s “no tenure requirement” for this benefit, meaning most of their 34 thousand Google employees qualify.
“One of the things we realized recently was that one of the harshest but most reliable facts of life is that at some point most of us will be confronted with the death of our partners,” Bock says. “And it’s a horrible, difficult time no matter what, and every time we went through this as a company we tried to find ways to help the surviving spouse of the Googler who’d passed away.” The case-by-case do-goodery was formally implemented in 2011. In addition to the 10-year pay package, surviving spouses will see all stocks vested immediately and any children will receive a $1,000 monthly payment from the company until they reach the age of 19 (or 23 if the child is a full-time student).
Dream Companies For The Class Of 2012: Everybody Wants To Work At Google
Meghan Casserly Forbes Staff
What makes the death benefit notable isn’t just its generosity—Google is, of course, far from cash-strapped—but rather that, unlike most employee perks on Google campuses that aim to increase happiness, creativity and productivity, providing death benefits is a no-win for the company. “Obviously there’s no benefit to Google,” Bock concedes. “But it’s important to the company to help our families through this horrific if inevitable life event.”
Google has been anticipating the major life events of their employees since day one. According to Bock, Sergey Brin got the ball rolling when the company had fewer than 100 employees, suggesting that the company could provide a nanny to each working mom or dad on staff. (“Obviously that’s an idea that’s been toned down,” Bock jokes). The company does have on-site child care but has raised its monthly fees significantly in recent years.
In maternity and paternity leave, however, Google benefits are at the head of the pack: according to a company spokesperson, new dads enjoy six weeks of paid leave while moms can take 18 weeks after the birth of a child. (Even better for the cash-strapped new parents: stocks will continue to vest on your leave).
But the link between maternity benefits and retaining employees is clear. According to a 2008 report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, more than 60 percent of men and women in the work force have kids under the age of 6, so anticipating their needs can mean keeping new parents on-board and, most importantly, engaged.
“When we think about [employee] needs at Google, we think less about how old you are that we do about your particular cluster of needs,” Bock says. “For someone who fits a certain profile—say, an aging parent to take care of, or kids or grandkids to support–whatever your cluster of needs are, we do our best to discern the best package of perks and programs to meet them.”
Google People experts use three methods to tap into the needs of employees: an annual survey called “Googlegeist” that measures the temperature of employees in every department and analyzes data to identify emerging trends, employee resource groups (read: clubs) where like-minded employees share ideas that are funneled up to HR (Bock says the most active are the “Grayglers,” the self-titled club for over-the-hill Googlers), and email aliases that run the gamut from financial advice to childcare options to café feedback.
Google gets a lot of press for its perks, Bock says, but he’s loath to even use that word. “People say ‘you’re Google, of course you can offer these crazy things,’” but from where Bock sits, it’s not even about the money. “There is, of course, research that show employee benefit programs like ours can improve retention, and appear to improve performance on some level,” he says.
“But it turns out that the reason we’re doing these things for employees is not because it’s important to the business, but simply because it’s the right thing to do. When it comes down to it, it’s better to work for a company who cares about you than a company who doesn’t. And from a company standpoint, that makes it better to care than not to care.”
***
Read more:
The Secret To Getting A Job At Google
Dream Companies For The Class Of 2012: Everybody Wants To Work At Google
If You Can’t Get More Money, Get More Perks
via forbes.com
via readwrite.com
This time last year, the out-of-nowhere indie Beasts of the Southern Wild emerged at the Sundance Film Festival, knocked out everyone who saw it, and embarked on a thrilling year-long ride to become a critical fave, indie smash, and multiple Oscar nominee. Of course, when you have a big hit, everyone’s looking for a sequel — and most of the press out of Park City has been eager to buzzkill, assuring us that no, there’s not another Beasts in this year’s bunch. And who knows, maybe they’re right; Beasts was an indie phenomenon, an alignment of style, backstory, and heart that proved irresistible. But the fact that this particular lighting hasn’t struck twice is somehow being taken as proof that this was a lesser festival than last, which (as far as this viewer could see) was simply untrue; in fact, I probably saw more out-and-out great films at this year’s ‘dance. After the jump, a look at the two dozen films I managed to take in over six days in Park City, and how they all stack up.
THE ANTICLIMACTIC OPENER
MAY IN THE SUMMER: For the second year in a row, Sundance’s opening night selection was a bit of a puzzler; maybe they were saving the good stuff for after the jet lag subsided. This culture clash comedy/drama from writer/director/star Cherien Dabis starts off well, mostly because we’re not used to seeing so many multi-dimensional Middle Eastern women onscreen. Unfortunately, it’s a bit of ruse; once the novelty wears off, this is a film of crushing predictability, filled with overdone situations and age-old dialogue, before degenerating into (of all things) a Jordanian riff on It’s Complicated. Bill Pullman, Alia Shawkat, and Hiam Abbass occasionally rise above the material, but this is pretty unexceptional stuff.THE ONE I WASN’T SMART ENOUGH FOR
UPSTREAM COLOR: Shane Carruth’s puzzle movie is proving one of the more divisive at Sundance; some are all-in on its wildly experimental approach, while others find it baffling and unapproachable. As a fan of his Primer, I wanted to love it, and while it’s admirably ambitious and never less than fascinating to look at, it’s the kind of film where the viewer must grapple with the urge to “figure it out” (and ultimately dismiss that inclination). All of this is a roundabout way of saying that it was too abstract for this viewer, but those who like this kinda thing are really gonna like this one. You know who you are.THE ONE I WAS TOO SMART FOR
LOVELACE: This is not a case of patting myself on the back; if you’ve seen more than a couple of dozen films, you’re too smart for Lovelace too. The great documentarians Rob Epstein and Jeffrey Friedman’s 2011 Howl was a promising crossover to nonfiction narrative filmmaking, but they’re hamstrung by a bone-headed, paint-by-numbers screenplay that leaves out giant chunks of pertinent information (though the film itself runs barely 90 minutes, and smells of editing-room shenanigans). Too bad, since star Amanda Seyfried bares her body and soul in a performance far better than this Lifetime-movie claptrap deserves.
via flavorwire.com
In November, I dropped my iPhone 4 while running and the screen broke. My first instinct was to go and buy the new iPhone 5, but before doing that, I decided to go without a smartphone for at least a month to find out how much I really depended on it.I’ve been a smartphone user for about 5 years. I started with the iPhone 3, grew to the 3GS and later to the 4. I was well on my way to get the 5, when my 4 broke. Looking back, I appreciate it broke.
Unplugging
In contemporary life with smartphones and computers we’re always connected. During woken hours I was available on Facebook, Twitter, Email, iMessage, my phone, Hipchat, Skype and in person. Although I disabled push notifications early on, I was still present most places. A few spare minutes would usually result in checking my email, Twitter and Facebook. I was a little bit everywhere, all the time. But not truly anywhere. Without the temptation available from my pocket, I feel like I am more present being wherever I am. Now I was certainly no addict, but it’s led to a small freedom I encourage you to experience. I’ve realized that not being constantly plugged in, has had notable benefits. When I am not on my computer, only my immediate friends and coworkers will be able to reach me by phone. My smartphone helped fill little voids of time with mindless entertainment and shifted me away from the context of whatever I just did and was about to do, silently replacing what I see as mandatory reflection. This context switching I found to play a larger role than I thought. It’s been rewarding to indulge more into my own thoughts and reflections, in lieu of attempting to occupy every gap of time with Angry Birds, news and tweets.
Concerns
I had a few concerns when I went back to my Nokia brick:
- No camera. While I’ve never taken many pictures, I liked my sporadic Instagram posts. When I go traveling, I’ve always liked to have just a dozen pictures to reflect back on the trip. Perhaps it’s time I just borrow a camera when I go traveling. Or just use none at all. I will figure this out when I go traveling in the summer.
- No music. Frequently when I walk, I like to have music in my ears to ease the experience. However, I decided not to haste out and buy an iPod. Since I got rid of my iPhone, I have definitely missed this, however, most of the time when I really want music, I am sitting down, able to use my computer. I found that walking to school without music wasn’t scary at all. Just like I started running without music a good year before my iPhone broke. It gets you out of your bubble and lets you experience your surroundings. Of course, sometimes it’s nice to just leave yourself out. Currently, I have no plans to buy an iPod.
- No maps. I used Maps on my iPhone a lot. When visiting friends, traveling and using public transport. My sense of directions are decent, so I thought getting back into relying on myself and improve these capabilities wouldn’t be so terrible. I’ve found that having no GPS in my pocket requires more planning. Generally it has not been a problem. In foreign countries where I need this the most, I use physical maps anyhow, since data costs are still ridiculous. There’s usually nothing wrong with asking a stranger or calling whoever you are visiting anyway. I suspect my feel for directions will develop as a result of this.
Unexpected discoveries
3 months of using an old phone, led to some more unexpected discoveries.
- I’ve started calling people more. On an iPhone, texting is extremely convenient. Since I switched to my ancient Nokia phone, I’ve found myself calling people more simply because it’s more accommodating. It’s funny how little I called people on my iPhone, and how surprised parts of my generation is when they receive a call. I have rediscovered the core functions of my phone, by indulging in pleasant conversations with people I used to just text, improved arrangements and generally had more fun communicating. I try only to call instead of texting when I am certain it will shorten the length of the interaction and/or add depth.
- I don’t care for my phone anymore. I just drop it into a pocket in my bag and go. This means I carry nothing in my pockets anymore. I have nothing to distract myself, and for odd reasons, that makes me feel free. No longer do I have to check where my phone is before going to sleep. I just don’t care for it, since it’s not an expensive item anymore that shouldn’t get scratches. The fewer things I have to worry about, the better.
- My concerns were mostly right, but I can live without these things. The concerns listed in the previous sections were right. I do miss having a camera, I do miss music and I do miss maps. However, I also found that I can live without these things. That appeals to me, and is a major pro for me. It’s handy to have all these things in one device, but for now, the pros outweigh the cons for me.
Not going back.. for now
Currently I do not see any convincing reason for me to go back to getting a smartphone. It was funny to observe how natural it feels to have such a powerful device always in your pocket, and how dependent I was on it. How natural it would have felt to pinch in $1000 for a new phone. In many ways, a smartphone has become a mandatory extension of the mind. But I feel it has had no major impact on my life to leave it behind. I have come to deeply enjoy being completely plugged out when I am not at my computer. I enjoy not always being up to date, and not having one more expensive item to worry about. It is a small temptation in your pocket that can make you loose focus from the people you are around. Only charging my phone every second weekend is an amazing feat too. I challenge you to ditch your smartphone for a month and write about it. I’d love to be included in your observations. You can sell your smartphone at a pretty good price, even it’s broken like mine was.
via sirupsen.com
Why you need more margin in your life
Why lack of margin is hurting you, and how to fix it.
When I was in college I was a TA for a class called Profiles in American Enterprise. Every week the CEO of some large corporation (Nissan USA, Flextronics, etc.) would come talk to the class, and the TAs would get to grab dinner with them after.
During dinner the subject of work/family balance often came up. And it wasn’t pretty. Divorce was common. Missing kid’s events or games was the norm. Men who prided themselves on their ability to move mountains got sheepish describing the fissures and faults in their home lives.
They had constructed their lives in a way that lacked margin.
The Danger of Lacking Margin
One of the more common problems with driven people is a lack of margin. They cram their schedules so full of activities and busyness that their emotional, physical and spiritual health suffers.
These folks are constantly around other people but find it difficult to cultivate deep relationships. They rarely spend time alone to reflect or meditate or pray. They get so used to their frenetic pace they don’t know what to do with themselves on the rare occasion they have time to themselves.
The pace of their lives is unnatural and ignores the toll it takes on their bodies and minds. They convince themselves their unrelenting schedule is a badge of honor to be proud of. They think wise management of energy doesn’t apply to them.
Every year you read profiles of successful people claiming the secret to success is their willingness to always be on. They only need four hours of sleep, they work 130 hours a week, they spend rare 10 minute break between meetings responding to emails and voice mails.
The truth is you can be wildly successful and still be delusional.
It’s not hard to find people who lived this life a while but eventually burn out. They rapidly move up the ladder but decide the path they’ve been killing themselves for isn’t for them.
They face a quarterlife or midlife crisis, and after all that work decide to throw their it away and start over. On their way out, they convince themselves it was the nature of the job or industry that’s the problem, not their lack of margin.
This can be all avoided. By being more deliberate and making simple changes, the risk of burnout drastically goes down, and a greater feeling of balance and engagement is possible.
You don’t need a ton of margin, but it’s likely you need more than you have right now. Here are some suggestions to get you started:
Become aware of your energy and your seasons
The first step in creating margin is to pay attention to your energy levels. Our energy waxes and wanes throughout the day. Even if you can stay up and push through your periods of low energy, it’s likely you aren’t doing your most productive work. Becoming aware of when you have a lot of energy and when you don’t will allow you to make smarter decisions about how to structure your day. Some people do their most creative, high value work early in the morning while others are at their best late at night.
Similar to your energy during the day, your energy rises and falls during the week and during the year. I have a pastor friend who’s found December is a period where he expends a tremendous amount of energy. For many people the holidays are a difficult time and he needs to be more available to them. Come January, he’s spent. Rather than plowing through and convincing himself it’s just the nature of the job, he uses January as a time to be with his family and to recharge.
Many industries have similar cycles of activity. Understanding and planning for them can help you sustain your energy over the long term.
Get More Sleep
Around 1-3% of the population truly can get by on less sleep. It’s probably not you. Sleep helps you make smarter decisions and makes it more likely you’ll accomplish your goals.
Exactly how much sleep is necessary does depend on the person, but for most people the range is between 6.5 to 8 hours. Make this a non-negotiable in your life.
Listen to Pareto
The 80/20 rule is your best friend. The majority of your results and effectiveness come from only 20% of your activities.
There will always be more meetings to have, more people to hang out with, more opportunities to pursue than you can realistically take on. Before taking on another commitment, ask yourself whether it is likely to be high impact. If it’s not moving you forward in your goals, remove it.
You’re better off spending time with your family or doing something that recharges you than attending another low-value networking event.
Take an extra 15 minutes
I historically have been terrible at getting up in the mornings, waiting as long as possible to drag myself out of bed and get started. I started to notice how this habit led to a more stressful morning, and an immediate frenetic feeling.
15 minutes can make the difference. It’s enough time to stretch, make a cup of tea, read for a few minutes, pray, write down my most important tasks, or do something else leaving me feeling more peaceful and focused.
I’ve started applying this 15 minute habit in other areas of my life with similar results:
- Showing up at the airport 15 minutes earlier than I otherwise would makes checking in and going through security less stressful.
- Getting to church 15 minutes early is enough time to drop my son off at Sunday school, grab a drink and get settled before the service.
- Showing up for meetings 15 minutes early (even if I’m waiting outside the building) gives me one last opportunity to mentally prepare and ensure my first impression is a good one.
- We have a lot of dinner parties at our house, and it always takes longer than I think to make everything. By tacking on 15 minutes I’m able to be more present with our guests instead of hurriedly trying to get everything finished.
I have a good friend who blocks his day out in 90 minute increments. He has 60 minute blocks for meetings or focused work, buttressed by 15 minutes at the beginning and the end.
When he has a meeting, the 15 minutes in the beginning give him the time to mentally prepare and visualize the outcome he wants from the meeting. The 15 minutes at the end give him the chance to process his notes and distribute follow-up or action items.
When he has a focused time for work, he finds the 15 minutes in the beginning give him time to get centered and eliminate distractions he’s in a state of flow as long as possible during that hour. And the 15 minutes at the end give him a chance to wrap up and tie things off.
Limit Social Media – Cut Off Your Hands If You Have To
Many people fill up whatever precious “down time” they have checking their Facebook and Twitter profiles obsessively. While the ability to connect with friends and colleagues is certainly a wonderful thing, too many of us are literally addicted.
Last year, I did an experiment for two weeks where I tracked how many times I checked Facebook or Twitter. I also tracked my level of focus and anxiety at three times throughout the day. Not surprisingly, I found a direct correlation. I found a number repercussions to spending a lot of time on social sites:
- I get less done during the day. Because I primarily follow people who share interesting links and articles, I would routinely go down a rabbit trail and emerge an hour later having accomplished little.
- My level of concentration was considerably worse, particularly with Twitter. It’s difficult for me to read compelling linkbait headlines and not have a portion of my brain wonder what lies behind the link. When I return to work my brain is a jumble, and I’m completely taken myself out of my flow.
- I feel inadequate. After 5 minutes of reading interesting articles I end up thinking of a dozen things I should do to improve my life in some way. But I’m not in a position to do anything about it – these thoughts don’t get captured and turned into action items. I don’t truly have any plans to do anything about these ideas, which leaves me feeling more “down” than before I started.
- I don’t feel recharged at night. When I check social media during the hours I’m winding down before bed, I don’t end up feeling recharged or refreshed. My brain is a mess. Almost all alternatives left me feeling happier and more peaceful – exercise, spending time with my wife or friends, reading my Bible or a good book, stretching, writing.
Limiting social media has been one of the biggest ways to add margin to my life. But it’s not easy. The following are some things I’ve done to make it work.
- Schedule it. I try to check Facebook and Twitter on my way to and home from work. Doing this for 15 minutes and doing nothing else has helped me stay up to date, and provides a change of pace from work to home.
- Don’t read the links right away. If there’s something that catches my eye, either mark it as a favorite, or add it to my ‘Stuff to read’ list. Then, when I have an hour or two of uninterrupted time (usually on a Saturday during my kids nap) I read the stuff on my list. This helps me avoid the rabbit hole during the week. I can take notes, decide if I want to turn any ideas into action items, and make better use of the material.
- Don’t check at night. My evenings are my time to enjoy my family and friends, to reflect on the day and monitor the state of my heart.
- Unfollow some of the people you envy. There are people who are successful and use social media to share information that can help me become better at what I do. But there are other people I follow for no other reason than I envy their lives in some way. If I find myself reading someone else’s content and thinking unproductive thoughts about myself as a result, I unfollow them. It’s not that they’re bad people – it’s just that I know how my heart reacts to it and it isn’t good. This might only be my problem, but I doubt it.
Margin must be created
Unless you get laid off, you’re not simply going to find yourself with margin. Being successful at work is usually rewarded with more work and responsibility. And the constant tendency of driven people will be to fill up every available moment.
Even if you stay at home, it’s very easy to find yourself overcommitted. The responsibilities of kids, the pressure to make sure they’re getting all the benefits of having a parent at home, the self-imposed stress of keeping a home spotless and organized can quickly create more stress than a typical desk job.
Margin has to be cultivated. Spent time every three months looking at your schedule and how you spend your time. Is there anything that can be removed? Are there 15 minute opportunities that you’re missing? Are you using your down time to truly recharge? By being honest with yourself and ruthless about your priorities you can increase the likelihood that you stay happy and engaged at work and at home.
Do you have any other ideas for creating margin? How do you create margin in your life?
Thanks to Rishi Shah and Danny Debelius for reading drafts of this post.
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Written by Sean Johnson on January 22, 2013
via sean-johnson.com
Salt to taste. Such a simple and innocent instruction. We've all read those words a million times over the years without thinking anything of it. Ever wonder what it really means?
As an ingredient in dishes, salt plays two very important roles. First, it reduces bitter flavors. Second, because it reduces bitterness, adding salt allows the aromas and tastes of the other ingredients in your dish to shine through.
If you have a dish that tastes flat or bitter, a little salt might be the only fix you need. Before adding more spices or seasonings, try just adding a teaspoon or a healthy three-fingered pinch of salt. Taste again and see if the flavors have improved. Add a little more. Taste again.
Try to ignore the instinct to taste for saltiness — you don't actually want the dish to taste salty — and ask yourself how all the other flavors are coming through. "Does this soup still taste muddy or are the flavors bright? Can I taste the sweetness from the squash? Do the parsnips still taste bitter?"
Here's a fun experiment to try: next time you're making a salad with bitter greens like dandelion or radicchio, try making one vinaigrette with no salt and a second vinaigrette with salt. You'll notice that leaves with the salt-less vinaigrette taste much more bitter than leaves dressed with the salted vinaigrette.
It's ironic, isn't it? When we're told to "salt to taste," we're not actually looking for salty flavor. All we're trying to do is get rid of bitterness and make the rest of the flavors pop.
Any other tips for salting a dish?
Related: Hand-Harvesting Salt from the Sea: A Trip to the Sea with Ben Jacobsen of Jacobsen Salt in Portland
via thekitchn.com